Well, this is it.

I love starting new things.... but the sad thing is that I'm usually not too good at keeping online blogs going. That may be because I have other journals that I try to write in. It may be because I forget that I have an online blog (or forget how to log in after a while). Or maybe I just get bored with it. Who knows. Well, i'll try to keep this one going. Hopefully.

It's almost the beginning of a new semester. A new season. New friendships. Old friendships... old friendships new again. Old friendships are changing... some are closer... some are ...well... not closer.

I got a guitar on Christmas Eve. Ive had it for 24 days. I love playing... Have you ever just known that you wanted to do something? Or maybe that you really felt like you NEEDED to do something? Well that's how I felt about the guitar. I dont know why but I just knew that I really wanted to play and sing. I want to use it to help lead worship... but mostly I wanted to be able to sing and play by myself... I love being alone with God and I love singing worship songs.. but now I can just go somewhere, all by myself, and just play... and sing. I like it a lot.

I also love nature. I miss the warm weather that I used to go on long walks in. It gives me so much time to pray and be alone with God... I love looking at the trees, stars, sunsets, and all the beautiful things that God has made and thinking about (1) how much God loves me and (2) how beautiful God is.

I guess you can say that I'm a pretty interesting person.. because when I am around people I am so extremely extroverted ... I love being social. But I also love love LOVE being alone sometimes. Sometimes I want nothing more than to curl up in a warm fuzzy blanket on my bed and watch a movie or read a book and just be alone. Realizing for a moment that the quietness is sooo lovely. But where I am in life right now that is not really a regular occurrence. Room mates... Family... friends... Don't get me wrong, I love those things... but There are times to be alone. I guess in the end all of those things make me appreciate the alone "down times" even more. So I guess I am extra thankful for those things (even more thankful than I was before).

I have found that my insecurities that I have/had can be covered by God's love and acceptance when I let them be. Because of this I have also found that I can really be who I am.

Man, oh man, I have so many things that I think about all the time. It's probably good that I have personal journals that I write in because I would bore everyone to death if I wrote everything here (even though I don't expect too many people will read this). Plus the fact that everyone doesn't need to know everything about me... Sorry. Well actually, I'm not really that sorry... because it's true.

Well, here is to one more week of break. I look forward to it. I am so anxious for the future... but God keeps reminding me of Philippians 4:6-8. Ahhhhhh... I guess all of these dreams I desire just have to wait. I often wonder... "will God really make everything work out better than even I can dream of??".... and then I remember that he can... because I've seen it happen before. I guess what it comes down to is that this can be the beginning of something beautiful if I let it be... or realize that God is working in my life... transforming it into something beautiful even when it doesn't feel like it at times.


"... a bad leader is not someone who makes bad decisions, but someone who makes no decisions at all..."

So long and kudos to anyone who stuck with me through that.