Well
I got my computer back today. Thats good. I saw a great nature photographers gallery at the plaza. That was good. I ate a wonderful salad for lunch. That was good. I felt like my shoulders were up to my ears from being so tense from my dads driving and negative atitude (he gets like that when he is in the inner city... he goes into defense mode). That wasnt so good. I got home and felt kind of hungry but then I just didnt feel like eating. That wasnt good. I took almost an hour long shower and just thought and prayed. I know, I know... that's not what showers are for lol... but I will have to say that that was good too. I'm rather confused. That's not good. I am trying to figure out what I'm feeling. I think that when I start to feel the chance of being hurt come on I just shut down my emotions. I stop feeling. Stop thinking. Just ... stop. Back away and get into defense mode just like my dad... where no one wants to be around me because I become negative, sad, and bitter.. all because i'm scared of being hurt. That's not good. I have so much pride that I can't really admit what I'm thinking, feeling, wanting. What do I do? Uhhh.. I dont know.
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