Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Way too much on my mind.

Well Hi there! (To anyone out there reading this)... I really dont think anyone does read this... but if you are out there reading this and you think to yourself "Hey! I am reading this!"... then hopefully you enjoy reading this. I enjoy writing this. Hopefully there is a little more usefulness in this than just me aimlessly typing away... Hopefully it's at least fun to read.. or maybe encouraging...?....

Well, It's been quite the day! Today Equality Ride (gay, lesbian, trans, bi, etc.) came to our school to debate the moral issue of homosexuality. It was very interesting... There was too much said to go into detail here.

Then I went to play Bingo at the assisted living home here in bolivar.. that was so much fun. I just love sitting and talking with people. I think that a lot of the time people are intimidated or scared to talk with older people because they are scared of what to say. I think it is such a blast to just sit and talk about random things. We talked about square dancing, swing dancing, riding horses to school, WWI, WWII, and bolivar 50 years ago. Haha...

So ... God has really been working in my life the last few days. I dont really know what the purpose of things that he has been showing me or what the end result is (I dont know that we ever will know that... even when we think we "arrive" to the end...) but I think that its something pretty cool... or at least I am trusting that it is.

So some pretty crazy things that I feel like sharing (Some of this is from the book Crazy Love)-

I have really been praying about going to Guatemala next January. I really had closed my heart to the idea of any mission trips through SBU because of prior experiences but I felt like God was really laying that trip on my heart the last few days... so I guess we will see where this goes.

"The critical question for our generation - and for every generation - is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?".... wow

I love love. I really desire love... but isnt that how God made us? To desire this relationship with Him as we desire all genuine love relationships? Isn't that what brings him glory - when believers desire him and are not merely slaves who serve him out of obligation?

How come it is so hard to honestly say and live the words of Psalm 63: 1-5
"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

I dont think the solution is to try harder to muster up this "love" towards God that doesnt show in our every day lives. When loving God becomes obligation, one of the things we have to do, we end up focusing even more on ourselves.... focusing more on ourselves to achieve the goals we set for ourselves.

The answer lies in letting Him change you.

I need God to help me love God more.

If I need God to help me love Himself (Holy and sinless) more... then how much do I need God to help me love others (sinful and fault-filled) more?

"Imaging going for a run while eating a box of Twinkies. Besides being self defeating and sideach-inducing, it would also be near impossible - you would have to stop running to eat the twinkies. In the same way, you have to stop loving and pursuing Christ in order to sin."

Whew.. that's a lot of stuff that Ive been thinking about...

Well... off to get stuff done.

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